THE RHETORIC PROJECT

Could you live without the internet for a week? For a month?

—

filing this under “highly doubtful unless there involves a handsome monetary reward upon task completion”. 

a week, i could probably do. maybe even a fortnight, if i was surrounded by good company and/or various other forms of entertainment/mind stimulants, AND if all of my favorite shows were only showing re-runs. a month just seems to be an awful long stretch of not checking twitter or instagram, and to not be all up on current events. because at some point, current events becomes recent events, which ends up just as boring ol’ irrelevant and outdated history. even the most sensationalist news stories fade into the background. just look at 9/11. (oh, we’re still talking about that? grrrrreat.)

don’t get me wrong. i would love to gladly and voluntarily take a week turned month hiatus from the internet (and the world) but this is the 21st century, y’all. short of a hands tied or life and death situation, being stuck on a deserted island, lost in a jungle or out to sea, i honestly don’t know if i could. i ain’t proud of it, but the weather ain’t gonna check itself. 

Describe the one who got away.

—

the post-breakup recovery period, however long that may subjectively be, is never a good time to be elaborating on something like this. so, i won’t.

let’s just say he could have only gotten away if he was somewhere (there) in the first place. 

los angeles, june 2010. 

Write a story about yourself, told from a neighbor or coworker’s perspective.

—

my goodness, she talks to herself a lot. i wonder how many times she will be playing the Yelawolf* album today. she is either incredibly productive and efficient, or really has nothing to do besides read twitter and wikipedia entries all day. i’m guessing it’s a combination of both. oh, it’s 4pm now… time for her coffee walk. 

[*insert white rapper du jour here]

When teleportation is finally possible, where will you beam yourself first?

—

somewhere VERY far away and near impossible to get to. a remote tropical island off the coast of new zealand ought to do it. and i am talking remote. one accessible only by motorized dinghy, pushing off a hidden dock in the new zealand countryside, that takes 2-3 hours of scenic driving to get to, after a ##-hour+ flight to the country itself.

as much as i enjoy traveling on airplanes, my restless leg syndrome can only behave itself for about six hours. and the last thing i want to do after a long-haul flight is board some other mode of transportation on my continuing quest to wherever it is i am trying to get to. because it’s not like i plan on hanging out at the airport all trip long. 

some might say that a long and arduous journey might make arriving at your final destination all the more worth it. but for this hidden coastal new zealand spot, i would prefer to get from point A to point B in one fell swoop. it’s not like i know how to operate a dinghy. 

Who is your greatest hero of all time?

—

not to sound un-American, but i don’t think i have one. there are certainly individuals i admire but no one to put up on that pedestal as the Greatest Hero of All Time. ultimately, i am just not ready to make that kind of commitment in reflecting back on my life to date to see who has been most influential or aspirational to earn such a title. sure, there are some top contenders but i can’t remember any of them right now, so maybe they aren’t even so great or noteworthy.

though if you must have an answer, i will go with Lois Lane. yes, a fictional character from a comic book series. but i did write an entire college essay about her, and the character attributes that made her a worthwhile role model in my life. the essay may have had more to do with the fact that i wanted to be a newspaper reporter then — a career goal i have since very much let go of — but i’ll be damned if her cleverly resourceful persistence and assertive, confident persona aren’t qualities to look up to on the regular til this day. 

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

—

my answer to this question varies day-to-day, sometimes even between times of day. but more often than not, i arrive to the same dream job: talent coordinator/producer for a late night talk show. or morning or daytime or primetime talk show. 

entertainment has always been an interest of mine. i don’t particularly like that anyone who lists “watching movies and television, listening to music” as hobbies can claim the same (fyi: those are NOT hobbies, but that is another rant for another blog post for another day). i mean, who doesn’t like watching movies/tv and listening to music? but for most, these are activities they do on their down time, their escape from the humdrum 9-to-5, one that likely doesn’t accomodate much less encourage that kind of “procrastinating”. tomAtos, tomAHtos. 

it’s simple. i really like music, and i really like television. my dream job would seamlessly merge those interests together, and it would pay me. to scour and sift through emerging bands/artists, build relationships with publicists and other industry folk, coordinate artist and show schedules, accomodate requests and demands (or try my damnest to), above all else, to help create some quality innovative eclectic unique programming for everyone to see. to be a part of a developing act’s first-time television appearance would be very rewarding, but not as rewarding as maybe finding out that so-and-so is a new fan after having seen their riveting performance on such-and-such show that i helped produce. i also wouldn’t want to just limit myself to talent on the musical guest segment of the show either, though given my “background” it is where the larger part of the dream comes from. 

so, if anyone has any advice on how to make this dream job a reality, holleratchurgrrl. 

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or something else? 

—

it really depends on the situation, and probably also the level of delusion i allow myself for said situation. once upon a time, i would have not hesitated to label myself an optimist. glass half full? lookin’ good. glass quarter full? not bad. there’s a glass? i can live with that. i think most people would agree that i try (or have tried) to find the silver lining in the clouds, whether it’s just to put them at ease or because i’m really just a wishful thinker by nature. 

but these days i am all gloom gloom moody. i wouldn’t say i am a pessimist - deep down i still have some sort of minuscule hope that whatever it is will work itself out, and there may even be rare bouts of certain happiness and positivity. perhaps realist is more the answer. and by that, i should clarify that i am not the most pragmatic person by any means, but i try to think more about the reality of the situation rather than being naively hopeful or immediately cynical. that is not to say my imagination does’t run rampant with hypothetical scenarios. in that case, i wish i were more glass half i don’t give a fuck.