THE RHETORIC PROJECT

february 6:

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:26:05 -0400

Could you live without the internet for a week? For a month?

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filing this under “highly doubtful unless there involves a handsome monetary reward upon task completion”.

a week, i could probably do. maybe even a fortnight, if i was surrounded by good company and/or various other forms of entertainment/mind stimulants, AND if all of my favorite shows were only showing re-runs. a month just seems to be an awful long stretch of not checking twitter or instagram, and to not be all up on current events. because at some point, current events becomes recent events, which ends up just as boring ol’ irrelevant and outdated history. even the most sensationalist news stories fade into the background. just look at 9/11. (oh, we’re still talking about that? grrrrreat.)

don’t get me wrong. i would love to gladly and voluntarily take a week turned month hiatus from the internet (and the world) but this is the 21st century, y’all. short of a hands tied or life and death situation, being stuck on a deserted island, lost in a jungle or out to sea, i honestly don’t know if i could. i ain’t proud of it, but the weather ain’t gonna check itself.

february 5:

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 02:26:00 -0400

Describe the one who got away.

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the post-breakup recovery period, however long that may subjectively be, is never a good time to be elaborating on something like this. so, i won’t.

let’s just say he could have only gotten away if he was somewhere (there) in the first place.

los angeles, june 2010.

february 4:

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:00:06 -0400

Write a story about yourself, told from a neighbor or coworker’s perspective.

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my goodness, she talks to herself a lot. i wonder how many times she will be playing the Yelawolf* album today. she is either incredibly productive and efficient, or really has nothing to do besides read twitter and wikipedia entries all day. i’m guessing it’s a combination of both. oh, it’s 4pm now… time for her coffee walk.

[*insert white rapper du jour here]

february 3:

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:00:03 -0400

When teleportation is finally possible, where will you beam yourself first?

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somewhere VERY far away and near impossible to get to. a remote tropical island off the coast of new zealand ought to do it. and i am talking remote. one accessible only by motorized dinghy, pushing off a hidden dock in the new zealand countryside, that takes 2-3 hours of scenic driving to get to, after a ##-hour+ flight to the country itself.

as much as i enjoy traveling on airplanes, my restless leg syndrome can only behave itself for about six hours. and the last thing i want to do after a long-haul flight is board some other mode of transportation on my continuing quest to wherever it is i am trying to get to. because it’s not like i plan on hanging out at the airport all trip long.

some might say that a long and arduous journey might make arriving at your final destination all the more worth it. but for this hidden coastal new zealand spot, i would prefer to get from point A to point B in one fell swoop. it’s not like i know how to operate a dinghy.

february 2:

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:59:58 -0400

Who is your greatest hero of all time?

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not to sound un-American, but i don’t think i have one. there are certainly individuals i admire but no one to put up on that pedestal as the Greatest Hero of All Time. ultimately, i am just not ready to make that kind of commitment in reflecting back on my life to date to see who has been most influential or aspirational to earn such a title. sure, there are some top contenders but i can’t remember any of them right now, so maybe they aren’t even so great or noteworthy.

though if you must have an answer, i will go with Lois Lane. yes, a fictional character from a comic book series. but i did write an entire college essay about her, and the character attributes that made her a worthwhile role model in my life. the essay may have had more to do with the fact that i wanted to be a newspaper reporter then — a career goal i have since very much let go of — but i’ll be damned if her cleverly resourceful persistence and assertive, confident persona aren’t qualities to look up to on the regular til this day.

february 1:

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 23:59:54 -0400

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

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my answer to this question varies day-to-day, sometimes even between times of day. but more often than not, i arrive to the same dream job: talent coordinator/producer for a late night talk show. or morning or daytime or primetime talk show.

entertainment has always been an interest of mine. i don’t particularly like that anyone who lists “watching movies and television, listening to music” as hobbies can claim the same (fyi: those are NOT hobbies, but that is another rant for another blog post for another day). i mean, who doesn’t like watching movies/tv and listening to music? but for most, these are activities they do on their down time, their escape from the humdrum 9-to-5, one that likely doesn’t accomodate much less encourage that kind of “procrastinating”. tomAtos, tomAHtos.

it’s simple. i really like music, and i really like television. my dream job would seamlessly merge those interests together, and it would pay me. to scour and sift through emerging bands/artists, build relationships with publicists and other industry folk, coordinate artist and show schedules, accomodate requests and demands (or try my damnest to), above all else, to help create some quality innovative eclectic unique programming for everyone to see. to be a part of a developing act’s first-time television appearance would be very rewarding, but not as rewarding as maybe finding out that so-and-so is a new fan after having seen their riveting performance on such-and-such show that i helped produce. i also wouldn’t want to just limit myself to talent on the musical guest segment of the show either, though given my “background” it is where the larger part of the dream comes from.

so, if anyone has any advice on how to make this dream job a reality, holleratchurgrrl.

january 31:

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 23:02:54 -0400

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or something else?

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it really depends on the situation, and probably also the level of delusion i allow myself for said situation. once upon a time, i would have not hesitated to label myself an optimist. glass half full? lookin’ good. glass quarter full? not bad. there’s a glass? i can live with that. i think most people would agree that i try (or have tried) to find the silver lining in the clouds, whether it’s just to put them at ease or because i’m really just a wishful thinker by nature.

but these days i am all gloom gloom moody. i wouldn’t say i am a pessimist - deep down i still have some sort of minuscule hope that whatever it is will work itself out, and there may even be rare bouts of certain happiness and positivity. perhaps realist is more the answer. and by that, i should clarify that i am not the most pragmatic person by any means, but i try to think more about the reality of the situation rather than being naively hopeful or immediately cynical. that is not to say my imagination does’t run rampant with hypothetical scenarios. in that case, i wish i were more glass half i don’t give a fuck.

january 30:

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 23:02:20 -0400

If you had your own reality show, what would it be called? What would it be about? Who would the main characters be?

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working title: Cloudtown, USA.

starring: me and my therapist; special guest appearances by friends, family and random strangers interjecting their two cents.

the premise would be weekly stories of a sad girl trying to work out her issues. who doesn’t love that? i would like to pull excerpts of noteworthy sessions i’ve had with the good doctor, and discuss further those issues with the direct parties they involve.

“you need to confront in order to conquer” — someone. no doubt uttered in some context that while largely unrelated to any of my deep seeded psychological issues resonates well with me.

not my best idea, but i really like the title.

january 29:

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:00:48 -0400

What’s one piece of technology you can’t live without?

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there has got to be a better piece of technology out there in the 21st century that i am completely blanking on right now, but i am a big fan of calculators. contrary to racial stereotype, this round yellow face does NOT compute math well. i use a calculator to make sure my 50% deposit requests are accurate, and even get those wrong sometimes.

anything beyond triple digits, and the standard +, -, *, / and you will get nothing but a blank stare from me. sure, give me pen, paper and math equation and eventually i might give you the right answer, but you will have to choose between quick or correct. because it’s likely not going to be both.

say what you will about the abacus, my dear korean ancestors, but that is nothing more to me than a fisher-price toy.

january 28:

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:00:41 -0400

What’s going on in your life right now that’s driving you nuts?

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same old thing, different day. what isn’t driving me nuts, really?

i wish i could say the issues plaguing me five months ago (when this question was first posed) have since been resolved and that whatever is driving me nuts now was new and completely different, but such is not the case.

in particular, i am still frustrated with my work situation. i like the person i work for, i adore (some of) my coworkers and, for the most part, enjoy what i do. the problem is, this is ultimately not the job i want to be doing forever — assisting or agenting. and maybe i’m not one of those “need to establish a career” types.

lately, i have been more and more contemplating a move to… i don’t know where. if i did know, i would probably be long gone already. perhaps, though, not too far gone, since the one thing i am positively sure of is that i want to be working with the music industry in some capacity.

going to stop this (entry) right here. i should really get to re-working my resume instead of typing out these complaint-riddled thoughts here because:

“i am the master of my fate; i am the captain of my soul.”

that william ernest henley was on to something.

january 27:

Mon, 23 May 2011 14:59:54 -0400

If you could live forever, would you? Why or why not?

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while it would be amazing to see, firsthand, the world as it evolves - i would have to respectfully decline drinking from the fountain of youth.

i imagine after a while the novelty and coolness factor of living forever (while everything else died, while new things came to life only to eventually also die) would wear off. that said, i would probably choose to live forever IF - and only if - everyone/everything i loved lived forever along with me, us all with our bodies and minds in their prime.

but that seems kind of impossible, no?

january 26:

Mon, 23 May 2011 14:59:30 -0400

If (you were) stranded on a desert island, and could only bring one music album with you, which would it be? What is it about this music that never gets old for you?

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[i had to take the liberty of editing today’s topic. i am all for preserving the integrity of an original idea, freedom of speech, and all that spazz, but sometimes these topics are so poorly written out. forgive me, but i just have make use of this otherwise useless B.A. in English every chance i get.]

aaaaanyway. let’s get to that island, shall we? and it better be a tropical island.

my #1 choice would likely be Elvis Presley’s 30 #1 Hits compilation. some of the king’s greatest songs are on this album, though notably missing are “I Want You, I Love You, I Need You” and “Viva Las Vegas” (i mean, really).

elvis is timeless, y’all.

i distinctly remember rummaging, as a child, through an “entertainment cabinet” my parents had, in which there were two vinyl albums, one of them being an elvis presley record. the current whereabouts of this mystery album they once had are unknown, probably lost/tossed in one of our family’s many, many moves. in my curiosity and childlike nature (read: destructive), i am sure it would be scratched to all hell, but it is something i would have liked to have framed and hung up somewhere, as a reminder that my parents and i have at least one thing in common: we all appreciate and enjoy some elvis tunes. it’s worth mentioning that i have never, EVER heard my parents recreationally listen to any music that wasn’t gospel-related and yet they are familiar with all the songs on the #1 hits album.

it’s probably the one album i could listen to ad nauseum without going all Tom-Hanks-in-Castaway mental. also, if someone could periodically parachute drop me in some peanut butter & banana sandwiches, i would greatly appreciate it.

january 25:

Fri, 20 May 2011 15:23:00 -0400

Who are the three funniest people in the world? Who are the three funniest people you know personally?

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Elizabeth Stamatina Fey. i have had mega girl crush on her since she popped up on SNL’s weekend update, defying the “guys don’t make passes at girls in glasses” stereotype. i’m also a big fan of her well-written/brilliantly-created 30Rock character’s quirky, neurotic, witty and awkward charm. i imagine our conversations would be many inside jokes, lots of making fun of people (strictly observationally with only the slightest hint of judgement) and objective self-deprecation (or as i like to call it, keepin’ it realz). there is great humor potential in all those things.

Phil Dunphy. okay, technically not a real person, but one of the funniest fictional characters ever contrived for sitcom television. hats off to the writers of Modern Family for providing the shake your head while giggling dialogue that actor Ty Burrell delivers effortlessly. i have to think he is not unlike his “trying to be cool dad” tv character in real life. best husband ever.

ZacharyQ. this guy makes me laugh all kinds of ways, in all sorts of situations and patiently puts up with all of my (terrible) “amirite?” jokes. so he MUST have a wonderful sense of humor (and he does). psst: HEY, you are truly someone i can be my giggly self with and i love laughing heartily with you. xo

and

Seth & Kristine(stine). two more of my favorite human beans. the duo are as funny individually as they are collectively (team Flayzer!). i’ve had the fortune of spending some good times with these characters and there were chortles aplenty. more to come.

douGrumpster. grumpy people can be funny people too, just like how funny people are sometimes grumpy people. in the years i’ve known him, he has probably made me laugh more than anyone else i know. can’t help it.

uncle Joey Fuckin’ A. my cubicle mate and fellow laugh monster. you know how sometimes a funny can go on for so long that it’s no longer funny but still absolutely hi-larious some people? we are those people.

in conclusion, i can be kind of a downer sometimes, but there are some other (unnamed) people who are also bright rays of sunshine on those cloudy days. you can consider yourself funny if i do little to stifle my laughs after your jokes. deadpan delivery, witty/acerbic sense of humor and/or corny jokes go a loooong way. if you can pull of any combination of those, you are very funny (to me). <3

and now i never want to type the word “funny” again.

january 24:

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:03:40 -0400

What’s your idea for a perfect Sunday? How would it differ from a typical Sunday?

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my perfect sunday would require perfect weather and a disproportionate amount of daylight hours to darkness. and in those extra hours of bright, my perfect sunday would urge me to go out, in my t-shirt, hoodie and jeans, and to make the most of this ideal set of circumstances.

brunch with some daytime dranking. sobering up to a top chef marathon (i’m willing to substitute the amazing race for top chef). a nice afternoon nap full of sunbeams, blankets and snuggling. a long stroll / bike ride through the neighborhood, with pit stops by the river and igloo cafe for one of their amazing mango+orange+strawberry smoothies. to unwind with the sunday paper and mellow tunes, couch time before bed time with my [insert term of endearment here].

and while i am enjoying all that, the laundry would, of course, do itself - as per my specifications. it would remember to put in the fabric softener during the rinse cycle, sort what goes in the dryer and what doesn’t, not forget to toss in dryer sheets, hang up the items that are to be air-dried, fold and put everything away when all is said and done. that alone has the potential to upgrade any typical sunday to an ideal one. don’t even suggest drop-off service.

is that so much to ask?

january 23:

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:02:30 -0400

What is your favorite sound?

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a little something like:

the sound of mighty waves crashing against jagged rocks happening.

especially when enhanced by one of my favorite feelings [warm sunshine on my skin]and scents [salty-sweet sea smell]. facing one of my favorite sights [the pacific ocean and california coastline], with one of my favorite tastes [mango froyogurtland with peaches, strawberries, mochi, graham cracker bits and almond slivers] in hand (/mouth?).

can’t wait for this five sensory description to come to fruition again. one of those sound machine alarm clocks just ain’t gonna cut it. and i don’t even have one of those.

january 22:

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 12:39:40 -0400

How do you define the word friend?

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a lot of people, a lot of the time, use “friendship” and “acquaintanceship” interchangeably. unbeknownst to them, they are not one and the same, at least not in my book. i reckon merriam-webster would make more like switzerland in this definition battle. in my observations and experience, many “friendships” forged are situationlly and, sometimes, more a result of convenience and proximity than an earnest interest in getting to know the other person. not saying that’s not a bad way to meet people. but hear me out.

there are quite a few folks who i wouldn’t mind hanging out with every once in a while. but there are only a handful of people who i would like to hang out with at every available chance. in that regard, a “friend” is someone i would voluntarily sacrifice more than just time for. that person gets, time and again, my genuine happiness and (more or less) undivided attention in spending time with them. and that is r-e-s-p-e-c-t. that’s my a-game. my “maybe even going out of my way but not minding to do so to be sharing this (whatever is being currently experienced) with you” game.

a friend is also someone you can share your sads with. good news is easy to spread. people just can’t get enough of the good stuff. but opening up to talk about some personal level bidness that, even in your own head, is difficult to deal with, takes an individual who is more than just smiles and polite, even engaging, conversation. this person should be able to dole out advice on the most random of subjects (and i’m pretty random) and weigh in with unabashed honesty on matters that most would otherwise sugarcoat. sometimes, and i do mean on the rarest of occasions, will i feel like truly delving into my emotions and other matters that weigh heavily on my psyche and heart.

the terrain is tough and the weather conditions are not pleasant for most of these internal road trips, but a friend will always be down to ride shotgun. beef jerky in hand.

january 21:

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:12:56 -0500

Is it always better to know the truth, even when it hurts? Or is ignorance bliss? Or are they both true some of the time?

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absolutely yes. knowing is better than not knowing.

does choosing to be blissfully ignorant feel better? yes, in all likelihood. but it is certainly not better FOR you. ultimately, it doesn’t change what is true, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. remaining ignorant is, in effect, knowing the truth but refusing to acknowledge and/or deal with it. personally, my imagination runs rampant with scenarios one way or the other. at least the truth would put the kibosh on that and, eventually, bring some much needed “closure” to whatever was in question.

but to each his/her own.

january 20: (bonus topic)

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:11:41 -0500

Describe what your laugh sounds like. Who in your family is your laugh most similar to, and most different from?

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the laughter output really depends on the situation - i think my arsenal of laughs is varied. at times, it can sound like a cross between hiccups and a stuttering machine gun. i have laughed so hard sometimes that tears have been pushed out of my eyes and abs have formed (not true). perhaps one might have confused it for sobbing and/or shortness of breath. both kind of applicable, i suppose. there is little “lady-like” about my laugh unless i am trying to be polite, at which point you should know that i didn’t really think it was that funny but will LOL any way for your sake.

a hearty chortle, silly giggle fits, high-pitched squeals, ch-ch-chuckling, booming guffaws, knee-slapping rofl’ing, ha ha’s and hehe’s - guilty as charged. i must have inherited my laugh library from my parents, as i have definitely have seen them erupt in one (or several) of the above.

ha.

january 20:

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:53:36 -0500

What is the single most important thing you accomplished in 2010? And how do you plan to top it in 2011?

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it feels like only just the other day/week/while ago that i answered this question.

OH WAIT, i already have. (re-)read about it here*

done and done.

january 19:

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:53:12 -0500

What’s the most important thing you’re putting off? And why haven’t you done it yet? What do you need to make it happen?

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simply put, the rhetoric project (2.0) is having a tough time getting off the ground. the premise of this endeavor was to, not only develop and strengthen writing skills, but to establish some sort of routine, a daily constant that - upon completion - would result in a sense of accomplishment and purpose. i have long since realized that the blog-per-day ideal was out of reach. a combination of laziness, distractions (at work and otherwise) and being pressed for time (in life, in general) are not helping matters.

i want to maintain the chronological order of topics, which sometimes also leaves the project at a stand-still. for a while, i had been stuck on january 7’s topic, then 18’s, and only recently has the content for those entries begun to materialize. that led to quite a long list of topics that went/are going unresolved to date…

i’m going to need some more hours in a day, for starters. that, and the ability to focus on a task (entry) at hand and not let emails, additions to my hulu queue, new available tweets, etc. distract me from concentrating on putting thought to internet paper.

#wishmeluck